Zombie Nation

As promised, last night I watched the movie Zombie Nation.Also, as anticipated, it was ridiculously horrible. Who've thought that the title sequence would be so crucial to starting a movie off on the right foot. Well, apparently these guys didn't get the memo. How difficult is it to just put the title of the movie up on the screen in an interesting font, white text on a black background. Clearly very difficult because they decided to fill the screen with ZOM, then BIE, then NAT, then ION. I think they might have been trying to be creative but it just drew out the opening and bored me right from the start. Once i got past the ridiculous opening credits, we opened on a scene where 2 cops are in a cop car talking. Suddenly there was a loud, echo-y voice that i assume was meant to be the voice of one of the cops in the car. Now, i'm aware this is a low budget movie but there are ways of creating a good voice over with minimal, cheap supplies. From hearing this voice-over, i learned two things, just how low-budget this movie really was, and that the lead actor has a very thick accent and is going to be difficult to understand him throughout the movie.
   Eventually we zoom out and get to see the "police car." Personally, i would never pull over for a red, unmarked Mercury with a single red light on top. Now, if these cops were detectives, i'd understand the car choice, but normal, LA Blue who transport those who have been arrested in the back seat, should at least have a cage between the front and back of the vehicle. These are just a few of the big things i noticed but there were small problems throughout such as the voices and mouths not matching, extras going from standing up to sitting down, to standing up again, the main character weighing one of his victims and the scales not even moving, things like that. Well, by now, we're about 27 minutes in and I' checked to see ow long I've got left of the movie because it's going so slowly. Not long after, i start to fall asleep and paused the movie at 33 mins and went to sleep.
   This afternoon, i continued the movie where i left off, and continued to fight off being tired. At one point, the main character is telling his story to a fellow officer and references where he grew up and on the screen pops up random, incredibly blurry and pixelated, still photos of scenes from a generic small town. This really annoyed me because it completely ruined whatever flow this movie had going for it. Most of the stuff that, i assume, was character development just came across as boring and confusing.

   Oh wait, isn't this a zombie movie you're asking? Why yes, with a run time of 81 minutes, the zombies finally show up (50 MINUTES IN) after the main character has killed his 5th victim who, in fear that she may be killed, had a curse put on her by voodoo witch priestesses...ya. Now, maybe after enduring so much crap, their zombies will be cool...nope. The "zombies" are 5 women the cop killed and they come back looking like this. (see picture to the right) Oooo, what an aweinspiring special effects department these guys have. The worst part of these zombies is the fact that they're not mindless eating machines, they're just the women brought back. they can talk and reason and all that as well as eat real person food!!! WTF!!! The only destruction they end up doing is 1 girl kisses a guy and rips the tounge out of his mouth and eats it, another approaches a random hick and, so it seemed, yanked his penis through his pants, ripped it off, and ate it...ya no. Lastly, all of them got their revenge and "took a bite out of crime" (lol) Afterwords, the voodoo preistesses explained to them that what they bite becomes a zombie too and the dead, newly zombified, cop comes shambling onto screen. In the end, all 5 of the zombie girls end of getting jobs at the police station...i have no idea how, but why stop with the ridiculousness of this movie now. So the zombies became cops and the cop became a zombie; this might be the directors idea of ironic justice but by the time i got to the end, i just didn't care. All and all, this movie sucked, I give it one star.
  Be sure to comment with what you think i should watch next.